Women & Negotiation: Narrowing the Gender Gap

John and Jane are employed in the same industry, they have comparable work experience, similar education, and hold the same position and responsibilities. Then, how is it that Jane earns 15% less than John? I bet you’re thinking, this is the beginning of one of “those” messages about yet another disadvantaged group. While the facts are the facts, this message has little to do with pointing out the obvious and more to do with providing women and advocates of women (ie. you husbands, boyfriends, uncles, brothers, coworkers, bosses, etc…) with keys to narrowing the gender pay gap. It’s about developing a skill set that we can all master with enough practice: THE ART OF NEGOTIATION.

According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, negotiation may, in part, explain why women in the United States earned only about 77.4% of men’s median annual earnings in 2011. The ratio of women’s and men’s median annual earnings improved to 79.6% for full-time/year-round workers in 2015. Think of the big picture, if men ask for and receive slightly higher starting salaries than women, and continue to negotiate more assertively for themselves throughout their careers, the gender gap can and has naturally grown and added up to millions of dollars.

The question here is, why do men have a tendency to achieve better economic results in negotiation than women and how can we overcome these daunting statistics?

I won’t generalize and assume to know how every female was raised, but I can talk about myself. I’m the middle child and only girl so you already know that there were plenty of sibling fights. It was all fun and games until that fake punch came with a little too much passion. That’s when the real fight started and quickly ended with tears and “the talk” from mom or dad. “Why were you playing so rough with your brothers? Girls are not supposed to fight. You have plenty of dolls to play with or you can go practice your instrument. Why were you fighting anyway? You should have been the one to stop them?”

Perhaps, you ladies out there can relate to “the talk”. I can remember the knot in my stomach and my body tensing up while fighting and of course, “the talk”. It’s funny that when I think about negotiating, I feel these same feelings. Like I’m getting ready for an exchange where my ego may be bruised, where my anger would be boiling inside, where I’m afraid I might lose or get in trouble for not being in my place.

Well, I’d like to demystify this notion; negotiation is NOT engaging in a fight, it is a tactful interaction and process between parties who compromise to agree on matters of mutual interest, to reach a beneficial outcome. There’s nothing un-ladylike about that! So there is hope, you can master the art of negotiation, no matter your personality or disposition. Our first realization should be to understand the meaning and the difference between negotiation and fighting/conflict.

Negotiation is not a conflict. The main difference between the two is the outcome. You always start negotiation with the premise that there is an end and it is going to be beneficial to one, some, or all participants. The process leading up to that outcome consists of taking perspective and making decisions.

Strategy #1 Know what’s at stake/ summarize

The Harvard Business Review sited that women negotiate more assertively for other individuals, such as their employees or their children than they do for themselves. Arguably, being communal may be one of those feminine traits that we need to utilize/repurpose. So, in this first strategy, when negotiating for yourself, it’s going to require you to take a step back and assess what’s at stake. Think about how the salary you’re asking for will impact those around you. It’s not just for you, but also your family and your future. It’s even a win for your employer.

With the issue of women and the salary gap between their male counterparts, what’s at stake when or if you’re the woman not earning your fullest potential (TAKE A MOMENT AND JOT DOWN 4)

“What’s at Stake?”

Here are a few responses we got from surveying ladies while presenting this topic: Self-esteem…. Where you can afford to live….What school your child attends….Your credit score…The type of foods you eat…The amount of free time you have…The extra-curricular activities your children take part in…How soon you can and the quality of your retirement…The clothes you wear…Whether you can pursue higher education…Your influence to other women…

It’s a lot to think about, but if you consider these things before you negotiate, it’s going to be very hard to leave that negotiation table without receiving ANY outcome in your favor. You are not whining or complaining; you simply know why your perspective is important and settling for less is non-negotiable.

Let’s remember the definition of negotiation. It is a compromise with the other party, so you need to find out their motivation for being at the negotiation table.

Strategy #2 Know what’s critical to the other party

If you’re a woman entering into a salary negotiation discussion with your boss, what do you think is critical to him/her? Things like a budget, performance, retention, engagement, morale/equity, or respect should come to mind. But, sometimes you will go into a negotiation unaware of what is critical to the other party, so what’s vital here is the art of listening.

If the other party isn’t telling you what’s critical, then ask: “What are your biggest priorities right now?”, “Would you explain the reasons for your position?”, “Is there any reason you can't?”, “Why do you think this is a fair and reasonable term or condition?”, “Why is that point important?”, “What part of my proposal gives you the most concern?”, “What documentation or proof do you have to validate your position?

Asking the right questions, actively listening to the answers, and observing non-verbal cues is a powerful strategy in communication. Surprisingly, your questions may cause the other party to reconsider what they came to the table with as non-negotiable.

Strategy #3 Know your value by doing your research

Research, Research, Research! Research the salary for that position at the specific company. Research the salary of their competitor. Research the pay scale of those with your same degree versus years worked in that position. Also, bonus research: Research the cost of living for the area where you will work and factor that into your negotiations as well.

Women may be able to capitalize on this strategy in salary negotiation by researching the typical salary range in a field, and then, referencing these standards during their negotiations.

Here are a few resources that may help you understand appropriate salary expectations: Recruiters, Headhunters, Payscale.com, Glassdoor.com, and Salary.com.

Strategy #4 Give to get

What are you looking to get and ask yourself, “what is required to get there”? This isn’t about compromising, this is about the big picture and all you will gain in the long run if you can give a little to gain a lot.

So, consider the total package. Your base salary is not your total compensation. Your compensation also includes things like health insurance, life insurance, retirement, paid time off, a flexible work schedule, remote work, a company car, profit-sharing, and bonuses. All of which may be negotiated in addition to your base salary. You may need to “give a little” in the area of base salary, to get a little more benefits.

At pivotal points in your career, “giving a little” may mean giving up your current position, to “get” more elsewhere. Change is growth. Unfortunately, employers sometimes become complacent with employees who have worked there for a long time, leaving employees with no option to increase their salary or in the cycle of a low annual increase. In certain situations, you may find that a new employer will see your value and pay you for it more readily than an employer who is used to having you around.

You never hear the greats in sports downplaying their talents and strengths. Instead, they highlight what makes them an asset and recognize the other valuable players on the team that help to accomplish the win. Teamwork makes the dream work! It’s time to display how you are the MVP and why you deserve to be paid like one.

Here are a few other tips to remember in negotiating:

· Plan and organize yourself. Have notes with you.

· Put your number or your goals out first so that you are in control of the starting point (and so you don’t sell yourself short).

· Negotiate from the top of the range. This way, if the other party negotiates down, you’re more likely to still end up with a salary offer you feel comfortable accepting.

· Stick to the facts. Keep emotions out.

In closing, and I mean closing this deal, begin your next negotiation with the self-awareness that you are the total package. You are not “pushy” or “un” lady-like. You are valuable and you are what this company is looking for. You are what this company needs, and it would only be their loss in the end if they do not see your value and compensate you accordingly.

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